1sy (Onesie)= “If you don’t love me, like me, or do things my way, I am going to have a fit”.
2sy= “If you are nice to me, I am going to be nice to you. If you do this for me, I am going to do this for you. It’s fair”.
3sy= “I care about you no matter what. I have unconditional positive regard for you”.
1sy + 2sy= a war
3sy + 1sy/2sy= Better outcome if we can balance the "care of others" with the "self care".
In the business of Doctoring, one needs to be a 2.1sy and above to be more effective. Whenever people are unwell, they often fall into the 1sy schema so if we are 1sy or 2sy, there will be unhappiness.
In the business of parenting, one also needs to be a 2.1sy and above.
Whenever we fall below the 2.1sy level, maybe it’s time to take a holiday, reflect, and take care of our own needs first before looking after others.
Furthermore, many Doctors are 3sy wannabe. One can’t be a 3sy without good self care. It is not easy of course.